Well, this post is about spiritual stuff, that I just want to remember for my own spiritual journey, not for anyone else! So read if you want, but just realize I don't really care what you think (if it's negative or judging) :) Oh and this is a really long post, so don't worry if you don't read it, I don't care :)
Last Sunday I went to a psychic fair, where they have a bunch of people doing palm/rune/chakra readings for free. I got my spirit animals read. I am pretty open to this kinda stuff, but at the same time a part of me think it's bullshit. But I decided to just go with it, and have fun. The girl led me through a meditation to meet my main soul-animal. I did the best I could, I meditate quite a bit so it's getting easier to me!
Well I saw a deer right away, with gold/yellow eyes. I found out after that deers stand for gentleness, unconditional love, and kindness. I found this interesting because I was told a few months ago by my chakra lady (the lady who reads my chakras) that I have unconditional love! And I really try to! I try to see the good in everyone and be kind to everyone! I don't know how gentle I am, I think I could definatly be more gentle.
So the Spirit animal girl told me that our main spirit animal is with us our whole life, we share attributes, and they help us through life's journey. They can be a friend, when you feel alone, or feel like you need advice. So I'm going to meditate more about my deer more and see what happens, haha.
Oh yeah, and she said that the yellow/gold eyes stand for joy and happiness!
Well after that, the Spirit Animal girl held my hands, and she said whatever animal comes into her mind has a trait that I need to work on...or something like that. I can't remember what these spirit animals are called, but they aren't permanent like your soul animal, they come into your life at different times when you need them for a lesson you are learning. SO....she said she saw a canary right away. She said it's because I need to remember to be joyful.
I looked online, and it said that the canary stands for " the power of song and voice". I find this interesting, because the past few months I have been really working on opening my throat chakra! Which controls truth, and voice. (I found out it was closed a few months ago when I went to my chakra lady for the first time :)
ok, so then we did this card drawing thing. I shuffled the deck and picked a card. I picked a hummingbird card, which again means I need more joy.
Before I went to the psychic fair, I want to a craft store looking for baby room stuff, I found little bird houses on sale and bought 3 of them to paint for her room! I thought of that when I found out about the canary and hummingbird and found it interesting, like it was meant to happen. :)
It's crazy how many times lately I've felt like I am in the right place at the right time, like I am where I am meant to be! I love that feeling, and definatly got it at the psychic fair! After the reading, I bought a few rocks to meditate with, because I felt like I should! :)
On Tuesday, I went to my chakra lady, last time I saw her (and the first time I saw her) was 4 days before I found out I was pregnant! I was having a hard time with a bunch of stuff, and the advice she had for me really helped. I found out when I saw her this week that I have improved alot :) Which I knew I had, I've been working on it alot! But it was good to hear it from her.
She had some advice about what I should work on. She didn't know, but I have been having a really hard time sleeping lately! I wake up multiple times a night, or wake up really early and can't go back to sleep!!! Anyways, she said my crown was too open, which is common in pregnancy, and that if I ground myself more it will help me sleep. She said because I love nature so much, some of the best ways to ground myself is to be outside! Go on walks, Sit against a tree, or get my hands in the dirt! She knew I loved nature and had a deep connection with it, without me even telling her! But honestly I do feel best when I am outside. I would go on a walk everyday if I could! I love looking at trees and flowers, and I always notice all the birds around me! And don't even get my started about water, especially rivers and the ocean! Thankfully it's getting nicer so I can go on walks and be outside alot more!
Since it's been cold, windy, and rainy the past few days, I meditate about being outside and sitting in the forest :). It seems to be working, the past few nights I slept really good!!! YAY!
The chakra lady also said when things are good, I just am waiting for things to go bad again. Which is kinda true I think...I do think things go bad again! Everything seems to be so up and down for me, it's really good, or it's really bad. It can't stay good for long. Well she said I need to realize that there are good things about life, even when things go bad, like I fight with my boyfriend or fail a test or something....She says I need to remember that there are so many good things in my life, and even if some things are bad, most of life is good.
I really need to work on this, because I do over-react alot when something bad happens, like when I couldn't go to the concert in Vegas, I freaked out and ruined the rest of the trip for myself, I got way stressed and sick, and in pain! It was really hard to see the good in anything for a few weeks. But there still was good, I just couldn't see it.
Well the Chakra lady said alot more stuff... She had me draw like 5 cards, they all meant something different and I can't remember all of them....
Lets see, the first card I drew was supposed to represent my biggest strength, and it was a "spirituality" card. She said I am very spiritual and even though I come and go away from it, I will always come back to it because it makes my heart the happiest. She said I am now in a place in my life where I am ready to advance spiritually. She said that I've gotten over alot of my past, I have moved on, and I am ready :) It's awesome she knew that!
The second and third cards were supposed to represent challenges that I am going through that I am not aware of (2nd), and aware of.(3rd)
the 2nd card was "relationships and alliances" or something. She said this is a challenge for me, because I really need to find people that are spiritual like me. She says I need to find a group of like-people who I can talk to about my experiences, and they can talk to me about theres, and we can learn from each other, and grow with each other. (I immediately thought of my friend Claudi! She is the one person that I feel I can talk to about this stuff with, and she is in a very similar place spiritually. I love her so much! I ended up talking to her after this, and we are hopefully going to hangout more and meditate together and help each other more!) I also will keep my eyes and ears open for any meditation groups or anything like that in the pocatello area! Because I seriously do want to learn and grow!!!!!
the 3rd card was "wishes and fullfillments" This is a challenge for me because I want things to work out, and I am stressing over school and what to major in and a bunch of stuff, but she said I need to stop worrying about what is going to happen. I need to live in the moment, and even if I fail a class or get in a fight with my BF, I need to let it go, and not worry about what the future will bring.
I can't remember the next card .....but the last card, which is to represent the highest objective or goal, was the "fertility" card. Which means, I'm going to have a baby :) ha. My little Maryjane IS the highest objective or goal, I am so happy to be growing her :)
Well the Chakra Lady also said my daughter will look like me, dark hair and dark eyes. SO, we will see!!! If little MJ doesn't, then I will have to call the chakra lady out on it!
She also said that I was going to be a good mom, she said that I really needed to hear that, but I shouldn't be scared anymore because I am ready! :)
So the biggest message I got from my experiences this week is that I need to be more joyful. Even when things get "bad", which they are bound to do! I need to be happy!!!!!! And I sware I will try harder, because I feel like it's REALLY important for not just me, but Maryjane. And important for my relationship with Caleb!
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