UGH!
For a second there a few weeks ago when I was having more and more intense braxton hicks, I thought I wasn't going to make it full term! But here we are! :)
Me at 36 weeks..after my baby shower! I felt HUGE (obviously, I AM :)
Well I spent the first half of my week at home, hanging out mostly with Jack and my mom.... It was kinda bittersweet being at home because I feel like it's probably the last time I'll stay there without my baby here!
36 weeks 3 days - going to the zoo
Well I'll just get into it...sorry alot of this post is venting and complaining :) But I wanted to write down all my pregnancy symptoms throughout this whole pregnancy! So here ya go!!!!
Well I got a cold for a few days (I'm still getting over it)....which wasn't related to pregnancy. I'm pretty sure little Jack gave it to me. The worst part about it, to me, is I hate not being able to breathe through my nose! It makes me feel like I can't breathe at all, because I meditate and do breathing exercises everyday! But I can't do them mouth breathing it makes me all anxious ahh I just hate it. I got one other cold while pregnant, back during the first trimester. And it sucked worse then this one..... It sucks there's no good cold medicine for pregos. We just have to deal without it! PLUS deal with all the pregnancy shit we already have to deal with!!!!
My friend Whitney, who you heard about in my Baby Shower post, well she was due 8 days after me, and she had her baby girl on the 13th! They are both doing great, and I actually get to see them tommorow for her baby shower!!! (if I'm not too sick....) I am grateful they are healthy, because I know Whitney was getting really sick and having some problems! She had to have an emergency c-section sometime in her 35th week! Which is really scary....I am very grateful I am so healthy......But....at the same time, I'm like, NOT FAIR! It's my turn to have my baby!!!! It bums me out that I feel like my baby is not getting ready AT ALL to come out......
Well, I don't feel like nesting, but I feel like hibernating...which is mostly what I've been doing! Since I've been back in Poky, I've forced myself to clean my room, wash all the baby stuff and put them away, etc, just doing whatever I can think of. I have no desire to clean or move around or anything, but I figure I might as well do something while I'm waiting.....We (caleb and his friends) finally moved my desk and computer downstairs, so there is now room for MJ's crib and changing table! (I wasn't worried about getting them here before she was born, because she already has a dresser, and she'll be sleeping in a bassinet for awhile..... but since I got SO many freaking things for the baby shower, I feel like she needs more space for her stuff!! And it'd be fun to see the crib all set up under her Letters (I'll post more about her nursery stuff later when it's ready...)
Well, I've been alot more tired then I was a month or two ago, and I haven't been able to sleep as good :( Some nights are better then others, but I'm having more and more bad nights!!!! On those nights I rarely can get more then an hour or two in before I'm awake again trying to get comfy.....My shoulders and neck hate me for sleeping on my side constantly. I flip my pillows, add two pillows sometimes, and adjust everything to get comfy multiple times a night now...but I just can't get comfy anymore! And my dreams are more and more vivid and intense! I have like 7 dreams a night and have to wake up wide awake, after all of them! ARG....Also Whenever I wake up at night to go to the bathroom (which I have to do once a night now!) , I'm so wide awake and my mind races, so it takes awhile to fall asleep again...sometimes I can't!!! **** But LAST NIGHT I went to bed at 2..me and Caleb were up late watching a movie..and I didn't have to get up to use the bathroom until 9! It was pretty awesome!
Some days my ankes hurt when I walk. They feel like they can't handle carrying much more weight!!!! Some nights my hands have been throbbing. They never are visibly swollen, at least to me... But IDK....my body is just so sore all the time!
My pelvic pain wasn't bad at all except ONE night and morning! OW it kinda aches and cramps, especially in the morning for a few hours, or if I lean over or sit too long. But the pain hasn't been as bad as it was a few weeks ago... I would welcome the pain though if it meant the baby was dropping and getting ready to come out!!!!
I feel so huge! and the baby feels so huge lately! She mostly feels so high up, right under my ribs, and it is so uncomfortable, even just leaning over slightly! She's so much higher then Jack was! When she's so high, I get sad because I want her to drop, and get ready to come out! I feel so ready to be done! She kicks my ribs some but it doesn't really hurt like people say...It just feels uncomfortable with her foot jammed under them or pressing against them, and I usually have to move around and she'll move too.
I haven't been having many contractions....it makes me sad because the end of May I was having so much more! They were coming stronger and starting to hurt even!! And it felt like the baby was dropping too, I thought for sure she'd be born in June......But the past few weeks, NOTHING! I get the rare contraction that I only notice because I'm feeling my belly and it gets tight. The baby is super high and sideways alot of the time, so obviously she's not getting ready anymore!!! I'd be SHOCKED (in a good way) if she decides to come in June!
Sometimes the baby punches my vag still....or that's what it feels like!!....one time last week I bent over slightly to pull the trash bad out of the trash, and I knew I shouldn't because it was full of stuff and probably pretty heavy. And the baby kicked me so hard!!! So I straightened up and didn't do it....sigh I miss being able to pick up what I want and move around furniture if I want! But I do still carry my laundry basket full of clothes up and down the stairs...and it makes me winded!!!
MJ's been getting the hicups more!!! I love them :) But I just love any movement...I have to look for and try to enjoy and positive things about being pregnant...
I was getting nausious in the mornings. But I realized I was most nausious the days I took my prenatal vitamins after my last meal of the day (which I do alot because I forget all day....) So I've been trying to remember to take them at lunchtime more!
I mostly just feel like shit alot of the time! I feel drowsy, unmotivated, warn out from doing nothing (except growing a beautiful baby) I am sick of not being able to do everything I want to, and go everywhere I want to!
I haven't been working out or walking much. I'm just too tired. I'd rather relax and read, eat, or sleep! And obviously if you know me, by now, you know I do what I want. So, sorry body but I've been neglecting you!
Basically I've been really anxious, uncomfortable, and slightly sick and cranky this week......actually today and yesterday haven't been as bad. I think keeping myself busy is key!!!! Even if I don't want to clean and do stuff....I should! And my goal is everyday to do some cleaning, organizing and getting ready! And I need to stay kept up on all the laundry, dishes, etc...so when MJ comes I won't have anything to do for awhile, except take care of her!!
After the baby shower I bought a ton of stuff that I still needed! (I had a list so it was easy to find what I needed...) I spent over 600 dollars on Amazon!!! It's crazy how much a little baby really needs! (and I still need a few more things...) But everything I bought isn't something I really NEED. Most of that $$$ was spent on a badass jogging stroller!!! I splurged!!! I got my aunts old stroller, but I found out it is not a jogging stroller, and I really want to run! And I wanted a stroller better for dirt trails and off-roading. (because I love going on adventures...) So I gave my mom the stroller I got for a grandma/grandpa stroller, and I bought a jogging stroller with the money I got from the baby shower! :) Thank you people who didn't know what to buy me and gave me money instead! I got a BOB Revolution SE stroller! In orange! (even though I really like the purple one, but I thought Caleb would like the orange one better...I'm so sweet, ha) The only con I can see is that it is big and hard to travel with, but Caleb and I are both young and strong!!! And maybe someday we can buy a cheap/light one to travel with if we ever need it!
I also got bottles, a breastpump, and a bunch of random stuff that I needed but wanted to wait and see if I got it at my baby shower! I'm glad I waited because I did get alot of stuff that was on my list, at my shower! I'm so grateful I had a shower. One thing I will not need to buy anything of for awhile, is CLOTHES! She is more then set for at least 6 months! (Note to future self.... I should have asked for larger sizes of clothes, because most people bought me the most itty bitty clothes they could get....) But It's ok :) I'll have fun dressing up my new perfect little doll! :)
I started going to the Doctor every week last week. I got my strep B test, which came up negative I'm sure, because they didn't mention it this week....This weeks appointment was boring. He said he wasn't going to check me until next week, because I haven't been having contractions or anything....But big news!!!! ......
I decided to schedule a c-section....which kinda ruined the whole, When will Maryjane be born, baby shower game! I scheduled it for July 2nd! My daddy's birthday! 2 weeks and 2 days away!!!! MJ could come earlier, if I go into labor, but that is unlikely in my opinion! This little baby wants to torture me!
The decision to schedule a c-section was a very hard decision. And it took me this long to figure it out! BUT, it is a very personal decision too, so don't judge! No one understands who or where I am or why I do what I do, except me :) not really anyway.....Thankfully my family loves and supports me! And my dad is very very excited for his birthday present :)
I asked my doctor in detail about this hospitals c-section procedure, and I plan to make a trip to labor and delivery ward next week with questions and requests!!! The one thing I found out that makes me really sad is once the baby is 'born' they take her away to the nursery right away, I'm sure they do this with a natural birth too....my doctor just told me they always do the weigh in and tests and everything they do in the nursery. And RIGHT AFTER the baby is born.... My doctor told me to go talk to Labor and Delivery and try to get what I want done!!! Because really he has no say in what they do over there. When he does the surgery, he has his team of nurses, and the nurses that care for the baby are a different team.
My doctor said NO ONE has EVER asked him if the baby stays for the rest of the surgery or is taken away....Which is so crazy to me, that not many people do research and try to figure out what they really want their baby's birth and first moments to be like!!!
I doubt that anything I say to the labor and delivery people will make any difference, since obviously people around here don't make birth requests!!! Which makes me really sad that I live where I live, and there aren't many options for me around here, especially having one c-section already....But I will let them know what I want, and MAYBE, HOPEFULLY they will come to some middle grounds with me!
If I can't even see my baby after she's born, I will be really sad. I don't care that she will be all bloody! I just want to see her and tell her it'll be ok before they whisk her off. PREFERABLY I'd love if she could be placed on my chest or at least stay in the same room while I'm being stiched up....
The first day I found out about how they take the babies away without even showing her to the mama for two seconds! I was so sad, I cried all day :( I still am sad. But if it comes down to it, at least Caleb will be able to follow her and watch over her, talk to her, and he'll make sure they don't do anything crazy.....
I know either way it'll be ok...I love her so much and as soon as I get her I'm not letting her go.
I can't wait to move on from this phase in my life and move on to the next phase!!! I am so READY! So as soon as MJ is, she knows she is welcome to come out here and see us and the world!
We all love our little MJ to bits already, and seriously can't wait!!!!
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