Little Focker

Easter was great, just great. Caleb's mom got him a new guitar (which he REALLY needed), as an easter/early birthday present.  She also got me a basket with TONS of sweet stuff in it. (I forgot to take a picture :( )She gave me a bunch of jewelry which I really needed! I'm so not a good girl. I never do my hair, or makeup, and I barely had any jewelry but now I have a bunch! so I can be more of a girly girl! yay! ha! Me and Caleb spent all of Easter together, cuddling, and painting eggs, and playing video games, and just being adorable like we are.

I miss him.

Well, Finals are next week!  I'm so not into school this semester, I half-assed it pretty much the whole time....I love learning, I just get so distracted.  I have no clue what to do with myself. My brain is insane!!! and I can't get Jack and my strong desire to be close to him, and to be a mother, outa my mind.(don't worry, I'm on BC so not going to happen :( )... I just keep thinking about what coulda been............. :( I would never recommend this pain to anyone. Is anyone strong enough to go thru this?  It was worth it. Of course. he has a happy family.  I didn't do what my heart really wanted, but I would do anything for my son's happiness......well my nephew...

(Jack's real dad never moved to Portland like he said....of course! I shoulda seen it coming. This is why I wouldn't be with him.  He lies/exagerates everything! ....I think to try to make himself look good, to make people think he's better then he really is.  People who do that are really annoying. He coulda told me he was "trying to move to Portland" not..."oh next month I'm moving to portland!!! I'll get to see Jack every weekend, I'll be so close! I'll get to see him grow up, and you're stuck in Idaho, sucker!" Not that he really said that, but still.  I bawled my eyes out many a times because of that boy and his lies.)

 I Can't wait for summer, but I'm not sure what I'll do with myself this summer.  I have a few Seattle trips planned, and some camping trips.  I guess I'll just take things as they come! like always..

Love,
AL