LOVE

First of all I want to say....

I LOVE LIFE!

 I love love love love Life!

and it's crazy!!!!

I don't know how I could get through it without my lover:

(A few of my favorite pictures from recently :) aren't we just so cute!)

AND my penguin:

(she's amazing and my BESTFRIEND forever!!!)

Well, yesturday was a hard day for me. I found out JACK's real dad is moving to Portland! I'm happy for him. I'm happy he wants to know Jack and that he loves him. BUT I'm really sad, because I really want to be there. Before I started school last month, I was really debating on starting, or instead.... getting a job, saving my ass off and moving to Seattle asap. But now I'm in school, and I'm stuck for 4-5 years, unless I quit and have to start paying off my loans!! Maybe I'll be able to transfer to a school in Seattle in a semester or two. hmmm... 

I guess I just have to learn how to completly let my baby go! and it sucks!!!!

 I am pretty much over the fact that I'm not his mom, I'm not raising him and he will never love me like a child loves thier mom (which I think would be the greatest love in the world) But I'm ok with being his favorite aunt.

I'm just really jealous that Tim, who was never here during the pregnancy and who never fought for us to be in his life, is now going to get to watch our little boy grow up. He'll only be an hour away. I'm 10 hours away :(

It's really hard to deal with all this! It's really hard to say how I feel, I can't put my feelings and thoughts into words. I'm sure no one will want to read this, but that's ok with me.

All I know is....as long as I have my amazing boyfriend, and my penguin, I'll be ok. and life will be ok! I'm sure it'll all work out somehow......someday.

<3 AL